Sunday, January 11, 2009

what to expect...........

so lately i have been thinking about what to expect from B during R&R. i dont know if he will be like he was when he left. i mean i know that he will be changed in some ways, but what i am in fear of is that what will change is the way he feels about me and us. this being my first deployment i have never had to deal with a hubby coming home from being deployed to war.

i remember when he came home from bootcamp he had this "i can do anything" and "i am high speed" attitude about him. i mean he never said those things but i could see it in the way he carried himself for about the first 2 months or so once he was home.

so can you ladies give me any kind of insight as to what to expect. i know every man is different in they way they handle the things our hubbys see and do on a daily basis but, i would just like to know that even though i may have to take my time with him and learn to handle things that have happened to him that over all everything will be ok.

4 comments:

d.a.r. said...

Oh gosh, I am glad someone else worries about this as well! I have no answers. I guess I will find out in May....

Lindsay said...

No one ever really knows. All I can suggest is to give him some space if he needs it and to just enjoy every moment. Don't try to pack EVERYTHING into 2 weeks, this is his vacation so lounge around and do nothing!

Enjoy eachother!

jlc said...

Hmmm guess I'll find out in Feb!!

But from all our talks on the phone. He still seems like the same old man I married. Just a tad more excited to see me now. Hahah.

A Soldier's Wife..... said...

I wish there were one answer to this question, but everyone is different. A soldier's experience in combat and their general way of dealing with life will determine how they handle transitioning out of theater for R&R.

Expectations should be kept within reason and if he needs some time alone, it should be given and you should try not to take it personally....remember that he has not had much time to himself while deployed. Also try and remember that even though you have missed one another, some things may have changed a bit (or may not have, again everyone is different and each deployment different). The most important piece of advise my husband and I could give you is to remember that this period is temporary and that when they come home there is not a long period of time to transition into R&R....that he literally is in and out in just a couple days and it is kind of surreal for them. He will be jet lagged and may need time to decompress....

The time will go by quickly and just about the time you get used to being together again, it will be time for him to head back. For you, this time it may be harder, you may feel worse then when he originally left the first time, since now you know what it feels like...give yourself the time to grieve for this loss of his presence....it is normal.

And have fun....most of all, have fun and take lost of pictures, video of your time together, make the memories to get you both through the rest of the deployment, it is what we do during this time to make it memorable that gets us through the rest....